Avaricious

Avaricious 

Adjective: Having or showing an extreme greed for wealth or material gain; example: a corrupt and avaricious government. 

Nine hundred plus lifters at a single meet. Weightlifting has truly evolved at an exponential rate. The American Open Championship breathing down my neck as an athlete and as a coach. I'm sitting on this 2 hour flight with plenty of thoughts fluttering through my head. To slow my thoughts I open the book titled SIDDHARTHA. The opening passage uses the word "avaricious" and I have to stop reading and look up the definition of this word. I've never seen it, heard it used in conversations, or have it come across in any of my other readings.

I found myself enveloped in the understanding of this new word and couldn't get back to my reading. Am I avaricious? Through what perspective is this word seen as negative or even positive? Can the word ever have a positive meaning? I want to dive into this thought more deeply. In an effort to finally get this word out of my mind so that I may continue reading my book, I apply it to my own life. 

When it comes to life itself, I really have to peel back some layers of my personality. I need to  break down some walls and be honest with myself. Am I avaricious? Do I have an extreme greed for wealth and material gain? Self reflection is only half the battle. I must also see how others see me through their own perspectives. I would like to think right away that the answer is no. 

I do not have an extreme greed. Heck, all my future goals and life plans all revolve around helping others. I want to help at-risk students get out of their neighborhoods and into colleges and universities through weightlifting. I want them to find a passion outside of high school other than smoking weed and hanging out on the corners with their friends. I want to open a non-profit to help misunderstood and often misdirected adolescents. A person that wants to give back to the community, run a non-profit, and help struggling high school students would be the last person I call avaricious. But, all of those are my own thoughts of who I am.

As I watch myself from a birds eye view or from the third person perspective, maybe as a homeless man at the stop light trying to get money so that he may buy himself a meal or perhaps a blanket, I get a different picture. That stranger who see's me walk past him on the street would see a man who recently got the new iphone when his old phone worked perfectly fine. He would see me walk past him with a pair of 80 dollar shoes. The visitors in my neighborhood would see a man living in a 1800 dollar apartment with brand new furniture and a full fridge. A brand new coffee maker, expensive protein shakes, and a weightlifting bag that has about 400 dollars worth of items in it. Today, the stranger next to me on the plane see's a man typing on an iPad all the while spending 450 dollars on a ticket to a weightlifting competition. 

The outside definitely looks a whole lot different then what is going on in the inside. I, myself, am an avaricious person who must learn not to be. I want to be more giving and helpful to the community and the people that I come to meet. Other people in this world need my money a whole lot more than I need my money. From this day forward, when it comes to a big purchase, I need to look at my Siddhartha tattoo and ask myself, what would Sid do? What would a person who is not avaricious do?